When trying to have a baby the question you would be surprised that many couples do not know how to have sex to get pregnant! We covered ovulation earlier, so we know when we need to do it, but how? I am not being funny seriously! I mean, I hope you know how to have sex literally. I am talking more about how often. Ooh, you say? Well, let me get right down to the knitty gritty!
I was talking to a girlfriend of mine about trying to conceive and when to have sex (this was before I really understood how ovulation really worked). She suggested that I just have sex EVERYDAY for that month (skipping my period), and see what happens. Well, I did that and I actually did get pregnant that month. It ended in miscarriage, but initially I was stoked that it actually worked. The problem with that is that it is EXHAUSTING! At some point, it wasn’t fun and just became yet another chore I had to do every single day (blah)! Not to mention, if your man has any sperm issues (low count, low motility, etc.), having sex every day is a bad idea. So what is a good method to have sex? I really believe the Sperm Meets Egg Plan is really effective.
Sperm Meets Egg Plan (SMEP)
The Sperm Meets Egg Plan is a method used to time sex to make sure there is sperm waiting for the egg once it is released. Remember, having sex the day of ovulation or later could be too late. So using SMEP ensures there will be sperm waiting. However, this does not guarantee you will get pregnant, it just increases your chances. If your partner has a low sperm count, this method might be too much and you may want to consult your physician to make sure.
I know it is strange to call your doctor for something like this, but the truth is, if your partner has a low sperm count, too much sex can make it harder to get pregnant. However, if you are unable to contact or consult your doctor, there are ways to check at home. Just like the fertility monitor for women, there is a fertility system for men. It does cost more, but you are able to reuse it which could be cheaper in the long run depending on how long it takes you to conceive. If you are only interested in checking sperm count you can use the SpermCheck Fertility Home Test.
How SMEP Works
In order to use this method accurately, you will need to do it (literally) in conjunction with an ovulation predictor kit (OPK). You begin having sex every other day starting on day eight of your cycle day. Cycle day one (CD1) is the first day of your actual flow. For example, if you tend to spot the night before your period, you would consider the following day cycle day one. You will begin using your OPK based on the instructions as the cycle day of when to start testing will depend on the length of your actual cycle. I typically have a 30 to 31 day cycle so I begin testing on CD10.
So to reiterate, you begin having sex on CD8 no matter when you start testing. Once you get a positive OPK you will have sex three days in a row, skip a day, and have sex the following day. The reason for this is because even though you are supposed to ovulate within 12 to 48 hours from receiving a positive OPK (depending on the test), it can take up to five days to ovulate. Unlikely, but it can happen. So this way you are covering all of your bases. After you have covered all of your bases, you can begin the dreaded Two Week Wait!
If SMEP Isn’t An Option
Sometimes timed intercourse isn’t an option for some couples for a variety of reasons. Couples may work different shifts, sperm count may be too low, or you maybe you already have kids that just won’t give you enough alone time like mine! If this is you (I know it is me), then every other day is just too much to commit to. The good news is that if you are able to do the deed (dtd) at least two to three times a week, you should be okay. This is because sperm can live for up to five days in an optimal environment.
Still too much sex for you? Honestly, my husband and I couldn’t even commit to twice a week unfortunately. If this is you, you will want to try to have sex one to two days before ovulation. The best way to do this is by using a fertility monitor because it will tell you when you are most fertile and also confirm ovulation. Yes, OPK’s will be fine too, but if you have irregular cycles or PCOS it may be difficult to get an accurate reading.
My son is proof that timing is everything. My husband and I made the decision to try for a second child towards the end of 2015. Since we weren’t successful in 2015, we continued to try in 2016. I had a lot going on with family health issues and we weren’t able to dtd as much because I was hardly ever home. So we needed to know our most fertile time in order to try to commit to at least doing it at the right time. I was alerted on 03/13 that ovulation was near (within 48 hours) and we did it just once on that day for the month of March. With the help of supplements and a Preseed (a fertility friendly lubricant), we caught the egg. So timing is everything. I know we got extremely lucky, but it only takes one time to get pregnant, you just want to make sure it is the right time!
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